Sex Talk
by Demitria Miriam
Summary: After finding out someone has designs on Inuyasha, Miroku, being the magnanimous friend that he is, decides to help out the otherwise oblivious hanyou. Suggested SessxInu. Told from Miroku's POV. One-shot. Crack. Complete.


**Sex Talk**

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Miroku sat idly in his seat as he waited for his friend to finish his lunch. He gazed around the cafeteria boredly, rubbing his hand along the slight stubble growing on his chin.

_I suppose I'll have to shave soon... I wonder if Inuyasha will ever get stubble…_, Miroku thought absently before latching onto that last thought. _Hmm._ _If he _did_ get some whiskers on his face, would his beard grow out white like good old Saint Nick? _

A tiny, beginning gurgle of a laugh started at the back of his throat at that before the dark-haired teen caught himself. He sucked in a breath, and almost choked on his own laughter, willing himself to _not_ look over at his friend right now or else he'd literally be choking. And not by his own humor either; Inuyasha did _not_ like to be laughed at, even if he'd have no idea why.

Miroku calmed himself as he let his mind wander again, flashing winks and smiles at the girls that caught his eye, and giving a manly nod to all the other people his line of sight came into contact with.

However, he paused mid-manly nod when his eyes drifted to a table which housed a self-important youkai by the name of Sesshoumaru, a senior at their school. The demon was surrounded by his friends yet he paid very little attention to anyone there as his eyes were otherwise busy staring holes into…

Something to the right of Miroku.

Miroku frowned as he turned his head and came face to face with the only interesting thing to look at on this side of the cafeteria.

Inuyasha.

_Huh. Well that's... interesting_, he thought, pondering on the why's as he looked over at his friend again with a thoughtful expression. Miroku snorted at the sight that greeted him, verbally taking note, ""Two plates down, I see."

"And three more to go," Inuyasha grinned as he continued shoveling food into his mouth. "Wan' s'me?" the hanyou said, gesturing to his plate, and chewing his food at the same time.

Miroku felt his stomach lurch slightly. "I think I'm good..."

As the half-demon continued to dine on the fine cuisine their school cafeteria was able to offer (refried-_everything_), Miroku leaned forward, putting his face in his hands and feigning impatience. He used the movement to glance back over to the table Sesshoumaru sat at.

_Still glaring is he_, the brunet thought, then- _No, not glaring; there's no hostility in that look._ But there was an intention and anxiousness in it that Miroku knew all too well.

_Well, what do you know. Now I've seen everything_, Miroku sighed. Attraction, and an intention to act on that attraction was what he saw in Sesshoumaru's fiery look. He wondered idly if anyone else saw what was going on besides him. Looking from corner to corner of the cafeteria gave him his answer; it was just him that was privy to this knowledge apparently.

Miroku looked back at his sloppy, loud, brash and overall crass friend. _One plate left. He's making good time._

The brunet shook his head, focusing on the issue at hand.

_I wonder if Inuyasha knows..._ Miroku took pause at that thought, then chuckled to himself. _Nah._ The two of them fought all the time, ever since they first started school and a six-year-old Inuyasha had trudged unknowingly onto a seven-year-old Sesshoumaru's playground territory.

For the most part the two of them just bantered back and forth. But other times they'd get so engrossed in their – at that point- non-existent argument that it'd easily evolve into a physical fight; punches thrown, bruises given and noses bloodied. The works.

However, the last year or so the fights had taken on a different... _feeling_ altogether. Miroku hadn't really taken the time to analyze it passed his "PMS for boys" theory but now that he'd seen the look the youkai had been giving Inuyasha today... Well, the fights now took on a whole new meaning.

The bouts had not only increased the last year but they'd also become less about reason (such as pride; "half-breed", "girly youkai") and more about just having them. And the more the fights happened each day, the more likely it was that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha would come to physical blows.

But the physical fights didn't conclude with claw marks and bloodied cuts like they would in the previous years. No, instead they concluded with wrestling and other skirmish-like… touching...

_Whoa._

Miroku would have stumbled backwards if he weren't sitting down. Instead he settled for throwing his focus back to his friend, who was just finishing up his last plate.

_Should I tell him?_

"Done," Inuyasha declared. "Ready to go?"

_Maybe not just yet..._

"Oh, by the way," the half-demon said as they stood to walk to their free period. "Since I got detention yesterday and missed Phys Ed, I have to make it up with the senior class today during study hall, so no free period for me. I'll walk ya back though."

Miroku came to a halt in the middle of the hallway. _Phys Ed… with the seniors…? As in changing into gym clothes? In a male-only locker room? Then showering, without gym clothes, after?_ Miroku's eyes widened and he quickly glanced behind them.

Sesshoumaru had stood up and was now walking with his group of friends, apparently eager to get somewhere.

Shit.

"Uh, actually, Inuyasha, I've got a better idea. Why don't we... take a detour through the quad," Miroku smiled winningly despite his stomach dropping.

"I can't be late-" Inuyasha started.

"You won't. And I'll walk myself to class after."

"Okay... Why the change of routine then?" the half-demon said, suspicious.

_Better to be honest, Inuyasha can smell my lies._

Being the magnanimous friend that he was, Miroku had made up his mind then and there of what he was going to do. "Because we... We need to have a... well, _the_ talk." Hopefully he'd be able to translate his experience with females into what two males would do together... despite not knowing exactly how two males did it together...

After all, since he was the only one that could see Sesshoumaru's intentions clearly, he now had the duty of telling Inuyasha that he'd probably be de-flowered soon, and in the boy's locker room later that afternoon, no less.

* * *

**The end.**


End file.
